I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Movie Review for September 26, 2014

THE EQUALIZER
Rated: R
Stars: Denzel Washington, Marton Csokas, Chloe Grace Moretz,
Plot: A retired FBI agent is pulled back into the game of taking out bad guys when he meets a girl in a lot of trouble.
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters


Denzel does it again with another well done performance in a movie that is predictable, but still highly entertaining. His understated demeanor and his ability to portray a tough calm while dealing with high-stress situations make this movie much better than it would have been with a lesser actor.

The film is a bit slow in places, but it doesn't bog down too much. The compelling nature of the story and the characters keep the audience interested even in the down times.

My only real beef with this movie is the climactic scene, in which we see the big showdown between Denzel and the bad guys. It's like a grown up, killer version of HOME ALONE. And the death scene for one of the main bad guys reminded me of Paul Reuben's death scene in BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER.

That aside, this is a fun flick that will have you cheering for Denzel from start to finish.



THE BOXTROLLS
Rated: PG
Stars: Ben Kingsley, Isaac Hempstead Wright, Elle Fanning
Plot: A young boy and girl try to convince their town that the trolls that live below are not vicious monsters, but an evil exterminator stands in their way.
Trailer

Clint Says: Don't even bother


This is one of the worst movies I've seen in years. It could possibly be the worst film I've seen this year, and it may even crack my top 10 bad movies of all time.

I will say one positive thing about it. The stop motion animation is incredible and if you stick around through the first half of the credits you'll actually get to see some of that in action.

I'm really not sure who is going to like this movie. It will be terrifying for younger kids, it's too simple for adults to enjoy, it's too artsy for typical moviegoers, it's too commercial for artsy movie lovers, and teenagers won't go because it looks like a kids' film.

I can't even begin to tell you how creepy and weird the town exterminator is. I'll probably have bad dreams about him. I can't imagine what he would do to the thoughts of a six year old.

Much of this movie has to do with cheese, so I will stick with that theme here. The plot has more holes that Swiss cheese, it stinks worse than Munster, and it's cheesier than a seven cheese tortellini.

Basically, this movie is not Gouda. (If you thought this review was bad, go see the movie. You'll nominate this for a Pulitzer).

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