I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015


Rated: R
Stars: Will Ferrell, Kevin Hart, TI
Plot: A wealthy businessman hires a guy to teach him how to survive prison after he's convicted of fraud

Clint Says: Rent this movie today, if you can handle the raunch

This is the funniest and also raunchiest movie I've seen so far in 2015. There were several moments where we were all laughing so hard that we missed the next line in the film. There were also moments where we were audibly cringing so loud at the raunchiness that we missed entire scenes of dialogue.

Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart play well to each other's strengths and have great comedic chemistry. I was also pleasantly surprised at how well TI can act. A warning though on Ferrell's performance... Once again we see way too much of him.

The plot is actually quite compelling for a comedy and there is a good amount of suspense to keep this from being a paper-thin, one-dimensional film.

If you are looking to guffaw this weekend this is your movie, but if you don't do well with raunchy humor you need to stay far away from this flick.

Rated: R
Stars: Al Pacino, Annette Bening, Bobby Cannavale, Jennifer Garner
Plot: An aging rock star is giving a life-changing letter that leads him to connecting with his adult son and family.

Clint Says: Rent this DVD this week

To be honest, when I saw the trailer for this film I thought it looked okay, but it didn't seem to be much more than an old-people-find-love-while-teaching-each-other-life-lessons flick. I'm glad it is so much more than that.

Al Pacino does a nice job, but Bobby Cannavale completely steals the show. He is spectacular. I wouldn't go so far as to say his performance is award-worthy, but it is absolutely worth the price of admission.

This film is heartwarming, dramatic, funny, heartbreaking and beautiful. I laughed out loud, I came really close to crying (which is saying a lot because I rarely cry at movies), and I held my breath in suspense. This story is told so well that I even cared about the hotel valet and receptionist.

I am still reeling at the ending of this film. It is one of those amazing moments in film when everything comes together, great actors, great acting, great writing, and great directing leading to a scene that is so full of tension, drama and suspense that you feel like the screen is going to explode. And if it doesn't, you just might.

Throw on top of all of that a John Lennon-led soundtrack and you've got a movie well worth seeing.

Rated: R
Stars: Sean Penn, Idris Elba, Javier Bardem
Plot: A security expert makes a controversial kill and must go into hiding in order to stay one step ahead of the hitmen after him.

Clint Says: If you have to see this make someone else rent it

This movie is one hour and 55 minutes of cliche action flick. It's so cliche that even the big twist is painfully obvious.

There are massive plot holes, several events that arise that are never explained, and the bad guy gets killed in what may go down in action movie history as the most ridiculous death of a villain ever. When people laugh out loud at the death scene you know it's bad.

The movie does have a few moments of nice suspense, but overall there is nothing new or better than any of the action flicks that it stole its ideas from.

Rated: R
Stars: Ben Stiller, Naomi Watts, Adam Driver, Amanda Seyfried
Plot: A forty-something couple begins hanging out with a twenty-something couple, but things aren't what they seem

Clint Says: Rent it if you've got nothing better planned

If this film had condensed the first hour into about 10 minutes and then gotten to the last 45 minutes it would have been a much better movie. Unfortunately, by the time I sat through the first hour I pretty much just wanted it to end.

It felt like Ben Stiller was just going through the motions, Naomi Watts didn't really add much to the story, and Amanda Seyfried wasn't used to her full potential. Adam Driver, on the other hand, was incredible, as usual.

While I did like the twist that completely blindsided me, it wasn't enough to overcome the mundane feel and pace of the rest of the film.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Movie Review For June 26, 2015: TED 2, MAX, and ME, AND EARL, AND THE DYING GIRL

Rated: R
Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Amanda Seyfried, Seth MacFarlane
Plot: Ted's civil rights are under attack by people saying he is nothing more than property, but Ted's friends are their to help in their own special way.

Clint Says: Don't even bother, unless you love raunchy, juvenile humor.

TED 2 is full of stupid, juvenile, and raunchy humor. It has a ridiculous plot, the story is thin and the characters are all one-dimensional idiots.

That said, this movie is stupidly funny. I missed the dialogue of a good five minutes of this film because the audience was laughing so hard we couldn't hear it. There are three scenes in particular that are easily three of the funniest scenes I have ever seen on the big screen.

A special "thank you" needs to go out to Amanda Seyfried for playing along with a great gag in the movie that is spectacularly funny.

I really can't recommend this movie on any level other than comedy, at that it excels. In all other areas of film it fails miserably.  But if all you are looking for is a night of dirty jokes this movie will be more than enough.

Rated: PG
Stars: Thomas Hayden Church, Josh Wiggins, Luke Kleintank
Plot: A military dog is given to the family of his military trainer after the trainer dies

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

This is one of those movies that could have been so much better if it had been PG-13. I understand what they wanted to do and the audience they wanted to reach and for that I am thankful, but this movie depended on quite a bit of action and suspense that had to be watered down significantly in order to keep the PG rating.

This feels more like a made-for-TV special than a big screen feature film. The acting is mediocre at best, and sometimes it is truly cringe-worthy. The story feels forced and contrived, and the drama, conflict, and suspense are hardly there.

While the film is good for almost all ages, there is nothing in this movie that makes it worth seeing in the theater. Wait for the DVD. You won't miss anything at all and you'll save a few bucks as well.

Rated: PG-13
Stars: Thomas Mann, Olivia Cooke, RJ Cyler
Plot: Two friends that make movies together try to make one for another friend with Leukemia

Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this movie now

This may be my favorite film of the year so far. I wouldn't be surprised or unhappy if it ended up on my Top 10 list for 2015.

It is quirky, awkward, authentic, incredibly funny and despairingly sad. It's like THE FAULT IN OUR STARS and NAPOLEON DYNAMITE mashed into one film with a little bit of DIARY OF A WIMPY KID thrown in for good measure.

The three main characters are perfectly cast and the chemistry between them all is beautiful. It's striking to see how well three completely different people can come together in such a harmonious way.

Grab a friend, grab some tissues and go see this movie as soon as possible. But make sure you leave some extra free time after the movie to talk about it with your friends because you will HAVE to talk about this film after you see it.

Monday, June 22, 2015

DVD Review For June 23, 2015

There are no major release films coming out on DVD this week.

If you are looking for something to watch at home, go out and get:

If you want to see something great in theaters, go see:

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Movie Review For June 19, 2015: INSIDE OUT and DOPE

Rated: PG
Stars: Amy Poehler, Phyllis Smith, Bill Hader, Lewis Black, and Mindy Kaling
Plot: The emotions of a young girl are thrown into chaos after she moves

Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this movie now

This film is an instant classic. If you are looking for a DVD to finally replace FROZEN, you only need to wait about four more months. I put this movie on par with the likes of UP and TOY STORY.

The world building is spectacular and the animation is beautiful. The story is told well and is highly compelling. This movie will make you laugh to the point of shooting your drink out of your nose and it will make you ugly cry as well.

The writers did an excellent job on this screenplay by taking characters that are quite literally one-dimensional (they are emotions like joy and sadness and can only act in those ways), and made them interesting.

My only problems with the movie are that there are a couple of scenes that may be a little too intense for the 5 and under crowd, but it is a PG film so that's not really a big deal. The more pressing issue is that joy is characterized by a tall, skinny, pretty girl while sadness is short and fat. Is that really what we want our kids to believe?

Those issues aside this may well be the best animated film of the year when 2015 comes to a close. Grab the whole family and enjoy this Pixar masterpiece.

Rated: R
Stars: Shameik Moore, Kiersey Clemons, Tony Revolori, Zoe Kravitz
Plot: Three misfit high school students, intent on making their lives better, end up forced to deal drugs or face the consequences

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and make someone else rent it

If I was giving a score for potential this film might be the winner. The concept is so unique and interesting, unfortunately the execution was horrible.

The film makes huge plot jumps that force the viewer to fill in major gaps in the action, there are scenes that don't make any sense to the plot at all and other scenes that give us way more information than we needed.

If the powers that be on this film got it into the hands of the right people this idea could have been turned into an Oscar contender. Instead, it will be completely forgotten by the masses before the Oscars even air.

As I walked out of the theater I looked at the time. I was shocked that this movie was only 90ish minutes long. If you had asked me to guess the length I would have legitimately thought it was somewhere between 2 1/2 and 3 hours long. I can't even begin to tell you how this movie drags on.

I also hate the use of racial slurs, this film drops the N word about 150 times. I get that it's a cultural thing, but you can make the point without putting in the actual word every other sentence.

It's really unfortunate that a film with such a great concept isn't worth your time or money.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

My Non-Review of LOVE AND MERCY

Rated: PG-13
Stars: John Cusack, Paul Dano, Elizabeth Banks, Paul Giamatti
Plot: The story of the life of Beach Boys legend Brian Wilson

Clint Says: I saw it, but I can't give it an honest review

Dear Reader,

This film came out a couple of weeks ago and typically I try to see as many of the films as I can before they are widely released. This film was one where I just couldn't do it. I wanted to see it, and at the same time I wanted this movie to be washed from my memory forever. This back-and-forth mental tug-of-war lasted about 10 days until I finally got the nerve to go see it.

I sat near the exit just in case I needed to make a quick escape.

As the movie began I got that queasy feeling you get when you are about to go on a roller coaster that you don't want to go on. I almost left.

But, I stayed.

And this movie wrecked me.

Most people will see LOVE AND MERCY and walk out feeling pretty good. Like they just saw a nicely done overcomer story. Making my reaction to the film seem completely out of place. But there is a reason for it.

I lived in Malibu, California in the early 1990's and over the course of a couple of years became acquainted with Brian Wilson. I say acquainted, because during that time I don't even know if it was possible for him to actually get to know someone. He was so fried from drug use and the forced over-medication by one of his confidants that most of the time I was around him he was barely able to talk. I'm sure back then he would have recognized me on some level, but there is no way he would remember me now.

I was just a teenager scooping ice cream at the local shop that he would frequent. Occasionally, we would exchange pleasantries, but that was about it...for him. For me, I would see this man...this legend...sitting there fumbling with his treat, sometimes so much so that his girlfriend would spoon feed him, and it devastated me.

This was the guy that had written the songs that defined a decade and are still powerful anthems to this day. This was a guy that had it all and, for whatever reason, threw it all away for a high. (I know now that he had mental issues and was being purposely over-medicated, but back then I thought that it was all his own doing).

I didn't understand. And even now, I still don't.

In a way, I am thankful for the time I got to spend with and around Brian Wilson. He basically showed me how not to live my life. The fact that I never got into drug use in any way is partially because of seeing what it did to him.

Watching the movie threw me right back into the early 90s. John Cusack absolutely nails it as Wilson. Other than that I can't honestly tell you if it was a good movie or not. Just thinking about the movie gives me a knot in my stomach.

So, if you were hoping to come here and find out if you should go see this movie or not, my apologies. I hope you will understand my reasoning and come back again for my next review.

Thank you for reading,


Monday, June 15, 2015


Rated: R
Stars: Sharito Copley, Dev Patel, Hugh Jackman, Sigourney Weaver
Plot: In the future all crime is policed by robots, but one of those robots is taken and reprogrammed to think and feel for himself.

Clint Says: Don't even bother

Imagine a world in the amazingly far-off future of 2016 where we all have mullets and gangsters wear neon clothing straight out of the 1980's and we make movies that are violent and useless mash-ups of SHORT CIRCUIT and TRANSCENDENCE. If you can imagine that then you've seen CHAPPIE.

This movie may have allowed me to break my record for the most eye rolls and audible exclamations like "are you kidding me" in a two hour period.

This may be the worst performance of Hugh Jackman's career, not because he's bad in the role, but because they gave him absolutely nothing with which to work. His character is painfully one-dimensional and his transformation from good guy to bad guy takes about 4 nanoseconds and it's done with weak motivation.

They have been marketing this film as "from the director of DISTRICT 9" which makes no sense to me, because that was a horrible film as well. Here is a perfect example of how ridiculous this flick is: The really, really bad guy has such a thick accent that even though he's speaking English they had to put in subtitles.

They should have pulled the plug on this epic waste of time.

Rated: R
Stars: Liam Neeson, Joel Kinnaman, Ed Harris
Plot: Two life-long friends and gangsters go after each other after one has to kill the son of the other one in order to save his own son's life.

Clint Says: Rent this when you get around to it

I've said before that Liam Neeson has really found his niche making action films where he's a quasi-bad guy with a conscience and is trying to make things right. That said, maybe he shouldn't take the lead role in every single movie that comes out with that plot line.

While this movie does have an incredible cast, all of which do great work in making their characters feel authentic, they don't have a lot to work with in this basic story. And while the story is fairly entertaining, it isn't nearly as compelling as it could be, nor do we see the character depth in some of the principle players that would make us want to care more about the outcome.

There are several large plot holes and many moments of convenience throughout the film that will probably drive you crazy. For example, can anyone explain to me how two injured and tired guys can be in a small building surrounded by 50 cops and still manage to sneak out the back door? It's moments like that that make this a film that could have been great into one that is mediocre at best.

Rated: PG-13
Stars: Olivia Wilde, Mark Duplass
Plot: A group of scientists create a way to bring life back from the dead, but their experiment has deadly consequences

Clint Says: If you have to see it, make someone else rent it

When I saw the trailer for this movie I was really hoping it would be a smart thriller, instead it's a hack horror flick with plot holes the size of California and, quite possibly, the worst excuse ever for someone to go on a killing spree.

This movie clocks in at about an hour and twenty minutes, but that is still too long. This should have been a short film. It still would have been horrible, but at least then we would have only had to endure 45 minutes of it.

There are so many things in this movie that are never explained, or done out of convenience that even the most casual movie-goer will be annoyed. I don't even think the uber-fans of the horror genre are going to like this film.

Rated: R
Stars: Vince Vaughn, Dave Franco, Tom Wilkinson
Plot: Three guys from a small business travel to Europe to close a major deal, but everything goes wrong.

Clint Says: Rent this if you have nothing better to do

If you've seen one Vince Vaughn movie you've seen them all, and this one is no different. He plays a big, goofy, but lovable adult child with no real business sense, but is a member of Mensa when it comes to street smarts. And end the end everyone lives happily ever after except the one guy that was mean to everybody the whole time.

This movie will give you a few laughs and several cringe-worthy moments, but overall it's pretty slow-paced. As far as Vince Vaughn flicks go this is average at best...and that's not saying much.

If you are looking for a mind-numbing night UNFINISHED BUSINESS will take care of that for you.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Movie Review For June 12, 2015: JURASSIC WORLD

Rated: PG-13
Stars: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard
Plot: The park is now open and business is starting to dwindle, so to keep it going the staff are creating hybrid dinosaurs. And, once again, through the order comes chaos.

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

I found this film to be completely absurd and totally awesome. It is a great Summer flick. You don't have to think too hard, you can just sit back and be entertained. The effects are outstanding, there is enough suspense to keep you somewhat near the edge of your seat and the story, while not great, is good enough to make it engaging.

For those of you expecting this to be a nerdtastic sequel to the first epic film in the franchise, you will be disappointed. This is not a thinky science-fiction marvel like the original, it is more like a disaster film.

Although I really enjoyed this film I'm nervous that they left it wide open for multiple sequels. If and when there is a sequel I hope they add in the one missing element that will make it spectacular...JEFF GOLDBLUM! That is all.

Monday, June 8, 2015


Rated: R
Stars: Colin Firth, Taron Egerton, Samuel L. Jackson
Plot: A young man joins a secret, elite spy team to help bring down the apocalyptic plans of a madman

Clint Says: Buy this DVD as soon as possible

This is still one of my favorite movies of 2015. It is so much fun. It's a great flick to grab your friends, a bucket of popcorn and just have a blast.

The movie is based on a comic book so there is a level of absurdity to it that makes the film even more enjoyable than it would have been as just a simple spy movie. (If you aren't laughing and cheering when the elites get theirs, you might want to re-evaluate your priorities, because it is one of the most insanely, ridiculous scenes to come along in a long time).

The characters are all intriguing and complex, and the villain (Samuel L. Jackson) is anything but one-dimensional. The story is exciting, compelling, intense and thoroughly enjoyable from beginning to end. Even though this movie clocks in at just over two hours, it never feels long.

If you like a good spy flick, you will love KINGSMAN.

Rated: PG-13
Stars: Mae Whitman, Robbie Amell, Bella Thorne
Plot: A girl tries to change her high school social status after she learns she is a DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend)

Clint Says: Buy this DVD as soon as possible

This may well be the first great high school comedy since John Hughes gave us everything awesome about the 1980s. It is funny, heartwarming, a great story, but above all else it rings true. There isn't a scene or even a line that feels like it was written by an adult trying to get into the mind of a teen.

The book was written by Kody Keplinger, a 17 year old high school senior, and thankfully the powers that be let her writing stand for itself in the transition from book to screen.

The casting for this movie is spot on. Whitman is brilliant, Amell is great as the dumb jock with a heart, and Bella Thorne kills it as the girl everyone loves to hate.

As I watched THE DUFF I found myself constantly smiling like a goofy idiot, that is, when I wasn't laughing so hard I could barely breathe.

This is a movie that will become an instant classic and a must-own by teenage girls everywhere.

Rated: PG-13
Stars: Amy Landecker, Sofia Black-D'Elia, Johnny Weston
Plot: A group of teens build and use a time machine, but things start happening beyond their control

Clint Says: Rent it after you've seen the other films out this week

PROJECT ALMANAC is an okay film. It's not horrible, but it's not great either. It is a "found footage" style movie, but it really should not have been. There are several scenes in the movie where there is no way any of the kids would have been filming.

The movie has several large plot holes and, for all of the cool effects, it really doesn't go anywhere new and exciting. There are also several scenes that are straight rip-offs from classic 80s and 90s movies. After the third or fourth copied scene it becomes really tedious.

The film clocks in at just over 1 1/2 hours, but it feels significantly longer than that.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Movie Review For June 5, 2015: ENTOURAGE and SPY

NOTE - INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 3 also opens this weekend, but I am on vacation and haven't had a chance to review it yet.

Rated: R
Stars: Adrian Grenier, Kevin Connolly, Kevin Dillon, Jerry Ferrara, Jeremy Piven
Plot: Ari Gold's first movie as movie studio head is to hire Vincent and his buddies to make a movie, but some people aren't as confident in the outcome

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

Fans of the TV series are going to love this movie. For those of you that have never seen the show, never fear. The movie is a great stand-alone. It's fun, funny and an overall enjoyable summer flick.

There are times when it feels like it's nothing more than a long episode of a TV show in quality, but the story is good enough to carry this film to big-screen status.

Kevin Dillon steals the show except for one notable exception, every scene with Rhonda Rousey and Turtle is awesome.

Rated: R
Stars: Melissa McCarthy, Jason Statham, Rose Byrne, Jude Law
Plot: After the covers of all of the CIA's field agents are blown, A CIA analyst must become a field agent to stop terrorists from getting a nuclear bomb

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

This movie really surprised me. I was pretty much done with Melissa McCarthy prior to this film because she is the same annoying character every time. I was expecting more of the same in SPY. Thankfully, this movie is great.

Melissa McCarthy plays a character that is smart, confident and kick-butt. But even more than that this is a really well done spy flick at its core. The mystery is intriguing and the stakes are high. The twists and turns are throughout and you don't see them coming.

Jason Statham is actually the funniest person in the movie. His over-the-top tales are hysterical and non-stop. And speaking of over-the-top the ending is absolutely ridiculous, but it's okay because it is a comedy as well. There are several moments in the last 20 minutes where you will have to decide whether you want to roll with it or give it an eye roll.

I can't believe that I'm actually recommending this film, but I'm happy that it is good enough that I can.

POST VACATION UPDATE: I wrote this review while running between events on my vacation and wanted to add a couple more points to it. 1. This movie is rated R for a reason. It includes graphic nudity. So, if you don't like that kind of thing you should avoid this film. 2. Melissa McCarthy's character has a very empowering arc that adds to the enjoyment of the film.

Monday, June 1, 2015


Rated: PG-13
Stars: Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Eddie Redmayne, Sean Bean
Plot: A young woman finds out she is royalty from another planet and must figure out who to trust before she gets killed and the earth gets destroyed.

Clint Says: Buy this movie now and enjoy the ridiculousness for a lifetime

It's finally here! Channing Tatum with dog ears and eyeliner can now live in your home! The best, worst movie of the decade is now available on DVD. This film shot to cult-classic status in its first weekend in theaters, and is now ready for your own play-at-home version of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

JUPITER ASCENDING is a visual masterpiece, the action scenes are incredible, and the world building is fascinating. The downside though is that the story is pretty thin, there are several holes in the back story that make it difficult to understand why certain things are the way they are, and the acting is mediocre. (Granted it's got to be nearly impossible to act out a scene when you are running around on green boxes in a green room and pretending that you are in mortal danger).

This is a really fun popcorn flick. It's not going to rock your world, but it will afford you a great night. Even if that night is nothing more that 2 hours of mocking what you see on the screen.

Rated: R
Stars: Will Smith, Margot Robbie, Gerald McRaney, Adrian Martinez
Plot: A con-man brings on a female apprentice, but it's all a game of who is conning who.

Clint Says: Rent this DVD as soon as possible

If you are looking for a fun, edge-of-your-seat, high-stakes con movie, FOCUS will completely satisfy. This film is exciting, smooth, intense and has enough twists and turns that, even though the information is right in front of you, you won't figure out the con until the very end.

For the most part everything in this movie is done well and rings true. There are a couple of things that are put in for convenience, but those can be easily forgiven since the rest of the film holds up so well.

This is a nice change of pace for Will Smith and a much better introduction to Margot Robbie than we got in THE WOLF OF WALL STREET. Their chemistry is great, which is nice because we will be seeing them together again in the near future in SUICIDE SQUAD. The show stealer, though, is Adrian Martinez. He is pee-your-pants funny and just a great all-around character.

I was surprised that this film was rated R. It deserves that rating, but just barely. I think they could have made a much better and wider-reaching film had they edited down to a PG-13 rating.

The best thing about this film is that you can just sit back and enjoy the con. It doesn't take a lot of brain power, nor does it keep important details from you. Everything is there, you just have to focus.

Rated: PG
Stars: Tom Kenny, Antonio Banderas, Bill Fagerbakke
Plot: Spongebob goes on a quest for the stolen Krabby Patty recipe and ends up as a super hero on land among the humans

Clint Says: Buy this for the Spongebob fan in your life

Fans of the Spongebob TV series will really enjoy this movie. Like the TV show it is funny, goofy, slapstick and heartwarming. For those of you worried about the transformation of drawn Spongebob to computer generated Spongebob, never fear. The CG version is well done and only about one third of the movie is in CG.

The story is simplistic, but still interesting and the references to pop culture are really funny. Plus there is an awesome rap battle that is worth the price of admission by itself.

Even if you've not seen any episodes of Spongebob before, this movie will make you laugh and feel good.

Rated: PG
Stars: Kevin Costner, Ramiro Rodriguez
Plot: A cross country coach in a small town transforms the lives of his athletes through his teaching

Clint Says: Rent this DVD as soon as possible

This is another formulaic inspirational sports film offered up by Disney, but it's also a really good movie. If you liked MILLION DOLLAR ARM you will love McFARLAND, USA.

Kevin Costner seems to have really hit his stride with the last few films he's been in, and the rest of the cast does an outstanding job as well.

The movie does run a bit long, but it's worth it in the end.

If you are looking for a good flick for the whole family this week, give McFARLAND, USA a shot. It might inspire you and your family.