I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Monday, June 15, 2015

DVD Review For June 16, 2015: CHAPPIE, RUN ALL NIGHT, THE LAZARUS EFFECT, and UNFINISHED BUSINESS

CHAPPIE
Rated: R
Stars: Sharito Copley, Dev Patel, Hugh Jackman, Sigourney Weaver
Plot: In the future all crime is policed by robots, but one of those robots is taken and reprogrammed to think and feel for himself.
Trailer

Clint Says: Don't even bother


Imagine a world in the amazingly far-off future of 2016 where we all have mullets and gangsters wear neon clothing straight out of the 1980's and we make movies that are violent and useless mash-ups of SHORT CIRCUIT and TRANSCENDENCE. If you can imagine that then you've seen CHAPPIE.

This movie may have allowed me to break my record for the most eye rolls and audible exclamations like "are you kidding me" in a two hour period.

This may be the worst performance of Hugh Jackman's career, not because he's bad in the role, but because they gave him absolutely nothing with which to work. His character is painfully one-dimensional and his transformation from good guy to bad guy takes about 4 nanoseconds and it's done with weak motivation.

They have been marketing this film as "from the director of DISTRICT 9" which makes no sense to me, because that was a horrible film as well. Here is a perfect example of how ridiculous this flick is: The really, really bad guy has such a thick accent that even though he's speaking English they had to put in subtitles.

They should have pulled the plug on this epic waste of time.




RUN ALL NIGHT
Rated: R
Stars: Liam Neeson, Joel Kinnaman, Ed Harris
Plot: Two life-long friends and gangsters go after each other after one has to kill the son of the other one in order to save his own son's life.
Trailer

Clint Says: Rent this when you get around to it


I've said before that Liam Neeson has really found his niche making action films where he's a quasi-bad guy with a conscience and is trying to make things right. That said, maybe he shouldn't take the lead role in every single movie that comes out with that plot line.

While this movie does have an incredible cast, all of which do great work in making their characters feel authentic, they don't have a lot to work with in this basic story. And while the story is fairly entertaining, it isn't nearly as compelling as it could be, nor do we see the character depth in some of the principle players that would make us want to care more about the outcome.

There are several large plot holes and many moments of convenience throughout the film that will probably drive you crazy. For example, can anyone explain to me how two injured and tired guys can be in a small building surrounded by 50 cops and still manage to sneak out the back door? It's moments like that that make this a film that could have been great into one that is mediocre at best.





THE LAZARUS EFFECT
Rated: PG-13
Stars: Olivia Wilde, Mark Duplass
Plot: A group of scientists create a way to bring life back from the dead, but their experiment has deadly consequences
Trailer

Clint Says: If you have to see it, make someone else rent it


When I saw the trailer for this movie I was really hoping it would be a smart thriller, instead it's a hack horror flick with plot holes the size of California and, quite possibly, the worst excuse ever for someone to go on a killing spree.

This movie clocks in at about an hour and twenty minutes, but that is still too long. This should have been a short film. It still would have been horrible, but at least then we would have only had to endure 45 minutes of it.

There are so many things in this movie that are never explained, or done out of convenience that even the most casual movie-goer will be annoyed. I don't even think the uber-fans of the horror genre are going to like this film.




UNFINISHED BUSINESS
Rated: R
Stars: Vince Vaughn, Dave Franco, Tom Wilkinson
Plot: Three guys from a small business travel to Europe to close a major deal, but everything goes wrong.
Trailer

Clint Says: Rent this if you have nothing better to do


If you've seen one Vince Vaughn movie you've seen them all, and this one is no different. He plays a big, goofy, but lovable adult child with no real business sense, but is a member of Mensa when it comes to street smarts. And end the end everyone lives happily ever after except the one guy that was mean to everybody the whole time.

This movie will give you a few laughs and several cringe-worthy moments, but overall it's pretty slow-paced. As far as Vince Vaughn flicks go this is average at best...and that's not saying much.

If you are looking for a mind-numbing night UNFINISHED BUSINESS will take care of that for you.

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