I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015


Rated: R
Release Date: December 23, 2015
Director: Adam McKay
Stars: Steve Carell, Christian Bale, Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt
Plot: A group of financial geniuses bet against the housing market in 2008 and win big

Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this movie now

This is easily one of the best films of the year and should be the front runner for Best Comedy as well as many of the Best Supporting Actor nominations. It may even see nominations for Screenplay and Director.

When you hear that this is a 2-plus hour movie about the housing crash of 2008 you would think that it would be the most boring, slow-moving film, but it is actually very exciting and enthralling from beginning to end. The way they deliver the boring information is done in such a unique and fun way that you almost can’t help but be happy to be learning about lame economic terms.

Steve Carell and Christian Bale give outstanding performances. And the cameos are almost the best part of the movie.

I highly recommend seeing it. 

Rated: R
Release Date: December 23, 2015
Director: Andrew Haigh
Stars: Charlotte Rampling, Tom Courtenay
Plot: A couple has to deal with news from the past during the week of their 45th wedding anniversary

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

Charlotte Rampling and Tom Courtenay give outstanding, possibly award-worthy performances in this rather boring and slow film. 

The premise behind the movie is highly intriguing, but the execution is lacking and the film never gets into the meat of the issue or the payoff. The conflict is mild at best and the stakes are almost non-existent. 

This movie has received a lot of attention from film snobs around the world, but your average movie-goer should just skip this one. 

Rated: PG-13
Release Date: December 25, 2015
Director: Peter Landesman
Stars: Will Smith, Gugu Mbatha-Raw
Plot: A doctor discovers a disease that may bring down the NFL

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

Will Smith has given us a thinking-person's blockbuster. This movie is done in a way that it will satisfy both the casual movie-goer and the person looking for something deep and meaningful in their theatrical experience.

I'm not sure how true to the real story this film stays, but it is fascinating to see one man take on one of the world's largest businesses. His journey is compelling, frustrating and intense. You can tell that his character feels passionate about trying to save lives no matter what the personal cost to himself or his profession.

I would like to know if the NFL had any editorial say in this film. There are several scenes that make them look bad, but the film uses real NFL logos and stadiums so it makes me think that they may have had some input into the final cut. I hope not, but that remains to be seen.

This is not a happy, fun, popcorn flick. It is a powerful, moving film that is worth the time and money.

Rated: PG-13
Release Date: December 25, 2015
Director: Sean Anders
Stars: Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg
Plot: A dad and step-dad have a battle to try to win the affections of their children

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and make someone else rent it

The Ferrell/Wahlberg combination is either incredible or a complete disaster. This movie, unfortunately, is the later. It's obnoxious, whiny, slow, and barely funny. I saw it in a theater with about 20 other people and I heard half a dozen laughs at most.

Most of the best lines and scenes from the movie are in the trailer, and a couple of good ones in the trailer didn't make it into the movie.

This film is full of cliches and stereotypes and the situations are unbelievable and forced.

This movie owes a big "Thank You" to STAR WARS because the only way it is making money is by people not able to see STAR WARS because it is sold out and opting to see this instead.

Rated: PG-13
Release Date: December 25, 2015
Director: David O. Russell
Stars: Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper, Robert De Niro
Plot: A woman that has put off her own life for everyone else finally has a plan to make something of herself

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

I enjoyed this movie, but I wish it would have been better. I love the Lawrence/Cooper/De Niro crew, but this film doesn't quite capture the magic that we have seen from them in their other endeavors. I'm sure this movie will be nominated for, and win, several awards, but I'm not sure that it should.

The trailer leads one to believe that Joy is a savvy, go-getter that refuses to let nothing stand in her way, and while she eventually gets there, she spends the first half of the film dealing with everyone else's issues. It's important to the plot, but it could have been handled in a few minutes so we could move on to the good stuff quicker.

JOY has been slotted into the Comedy category, but the laughs are few. It's much more of a drama. Also, one of the things that makes these films so good is the rapport and banter between Lawrence and Cooper. We don't get nearly enough of that because, he's in the movie for all of about 10 minutes.

Like I said, I enjoyed this movie, and you probably will to, but it won't be a favorite for many people. You'd be better off just waiting for the DVD or seeing a matinee.

Rated: PG-13
Release Date: December 25, 2015
Director: Ericson Core
Stars: Luke Bracey, Edgar Ramirez, Ray Winstone
Plot: An FBI agent infiltrates a gang of extreme sports athletes on a massive crime spree

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and make someone else rent it

I'm not really sure how you can make a movie about extreme sports, high stakes robberies, and undercover FBI work boring, but director Ericson Core managed to do it in spectacularly boring fashion.

There are so many eye-rolling moments in this film that I felt like I was doing my own back flips and stunts. The bad guys' motivation is flimsy at best, and Luke Bracey's incredible lack of acting skills makes Keanu Reeves look like he should have won an Oscar for the original POINT BREAK.

If I'm ever forced to watch this move again I may have to consider jumping off a cliff as an alternative...parachute optional.

Rated: R
Release Date: December 25, 2015
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Stars: Kurt Russell, Samuel L. Jackson, Jennifer Jason Leigh
Plot: Eight people from different walks of life end up trapped together in a blizzard when everything goes bad

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

I really believe that when Quentin Tarantino sat down to write this screenplay he had just seen the movie CLUE (1985) and said, "I can do that movie way better. And with a ton more violence and bad language. And in the wild west."

Tarantino once again relies on the stellar talent of many of his go-to actors, and they pull off quite the epic flick. That said, this is a 3-plus hour long, Quentin Tarantino film. If either of those things bothers you do not go see this film.

You should also avoid this movie if you are easily offended by bad language, including the constant use of the N word, you do not like gratuitous violence, or you aren't a fan of Shakespearean-style tragedies.

You should drop everything and go see this movie now if you are a Quentin Tarantino fan, because this is some of his finest work since PULP FICTION. You should also see it if you love intriguing mysteries, scenes where you can cut the tension with a knife, and crazy twists that you will never see coming.

This film is long, over the top, ridiculous, and amazing. If you can handle it I highly recommend seeing it.

NOTE: Tarantino filmed this movie in the style of the old road show films. If you have a chance to see it in the road show fashion, I recommend it. It's odd compared to today's movies, but it is interesting. You'll feel like you are getting punked for the first ten minutes of the film, but then it kicks in, and it moves at light speed after the intermission.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015


Rated: PG-13
Release Date: December 18, 2015
Director: J.J. Abrams
Stars: Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Harrison Ford, Adam Driver
Plot: A small band of rebels must fight the growing power of The First Order or be destroyed

Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this movie now

********NO SPOILERS********
********JUST MY REVIEW*********

The first film I ever saw in theaters was STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE (4). From that moment on I was hooked. I was a STAR WARS fan for life. Then came Episodes 1 - 3 and I briefly considered joining the Dark Side. Then about two years ago I heard that J.J. Abrams was going to make a new STAR WARS. I am a huge J.J. Abrams fan, and what he did with STAR TREK was nothing short of amazing, so I waited, agonizingly, for two years until Tuesday December 16, 2015 when I finally got to see EPISODE VII.

Ladies and gentlemen, I bounced in my chair like a giddy little school boy for two hours and ten minutes. I clapped, I cheered, I cried, and I grabbed the people sitting beside me when things went to a J.J.Abrams level of crazy.

Simply put, this movie is spectacular. It is the STAR WARS movie I have waited 30 years to see. It feels like the original trilogy, but done in a modern way. The story is interesting, the characters are compelling and believable.

Dear readers, you are going to completely fall in love with Daisy Ridley in the first ten minutes of the movie. She is going to be a massive Hollywood star.

One word of warning, there are MAJOR plot points that many inconsiderate people out there will begin publishing on social media very soon. You really need to avoid all of that to enjoy this movie thoroughly. I suggest buying tickets to see it as soon as possible and also avoiding the internet as much as your life will allow.

The Force is strong with this one.

Rated: R
Release Date: December 18, 2015
Director: Jason Moore
Stars: Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, Ike Barinholtz
Plot: Two middle-aged sisters throw an epic bash at their family home before their parents can sell it

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

Here's the deal. If you are putting your movie up against STAR WARS 7 you are basically saying, "We know this film isn't great and we are fine with losing." I'm not saying this is a horrible film, but it's one that will easily be forgotten.

Poehler and Fey are very funny throughout this raunchy and f-bomb filled comedy, but the script is exceedingly juvenile and boring. There is nothing in this film that we haven't seen before dozens of times.

If you are looking for a few good R-rated laughs this weekend, SISTERS will most likely satisfy, but don't expect it to be one that you'll be excited to tell your friends you saw.

Rated: PG
Release Date: December 18, 2015
Director: Walt Becker
Stars: Jason Lee, Bella Thorne
Plot: The chipmunks embark on a road trip to stop Dave from proposing to his girlfriend

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

This is one of those films that you know exactly what it is going to be before you see it. That said, I thought the physical comedy was funny and everything else was on some level of tolerable. The movie offers nothing that makes it worth seeing in theaters, but it will be worth a rental when it comes out on DVD.

That's my take on it. My five year old daughter, who is a much harsher critic than I could ever be, said this about the movie. "It's waaaayyyyy too long and it's BORING!"

Since the movie is targeted for someone a lot closer to her age than to mine you may want to take her word for it.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Movie Review For December 11, 2015: LEGEND and IN THE HEART OF THE SEA

Rated: PG-13
Release Date: December 11, 2015
Director: Ron Howard
Stars: Chris Hemsworth, Brendan Gleeson, Benjamin Walker, Cillian Murphy
Plot: A group of whalers meet their match in the form of a massive whale that is trying to demolish their ship

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

Director Ron Howard has a knack for giving audiences epic films to experience. This movie is no exception. The action is powerful, the cinematography is stunning, and the story is compelling and told well.

While this movie is a dark horse in the awards race this year, it would not surprise me to see it nominated in several technical categories as well as visual effects. If it ends up getting any acting nominations it would most likely be for Brendan Gleeson. He gives an impressive and emotional performance.

If you like epic sea tales, you will love this movie. If a 19th century yarn about a big, mean whale sounds boring to you, you should probably skip this movie.

Rated: R
Release Date: November 20, 2015
Director: Brian Helgeland
Stars: Tom Hardy, Emily Browning
Plot: Two brothers control the British underground with their brains and brawn

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

Tom Hardy has quickly risen in the ranks to one of the best go-to guys in Hollywood. In LEGEND he plays both of the Kray brothers and does an amazing job.

This is an interesting, period-piece, gangster flick that will have you laughing, cheering, cringing, and covering your eyes. I'm not sure how close this movie stays to the true story, but if the real story is even half of what the movie portrays one would be wise to not cross the Krays.

This is not a film for those with a weak heart or stomach, it is full of gangster violence and all of the hard things that go along with that lifestyle. That said, it also has very compelling relationship stories between the brothers others in their lives.

This movie isn't going to win any of the big awards this year, nor will it be nominated for many, but it's still a film worth seeing if you are looking for a good gangster flick this weekend.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Movie Reviews For December 4, 2015: KRAMPUS and THE LETTERS

Rated: PG-13
Release Date: December 4, 2015
Director: Michael Dougherty
Stars: Adam Scott, Toni Collette, David Koechner
Plot: The Anti-Santa demon, Krampus, is accidentally summoned and terrorizes a family

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and make someone else rent it

This film is an utter waste of time. It's not scary, it's not entertaining, and the ending is so ridiculous that it will be nearly impossible for you to not hear some variation of "What the...?" from other viewers.

KRAMPUS is full of plot holes, lame dialogue, and horrific acting. I would rather spend all of the holidays with people I can't stand then have to watch this travesty again.

Put this one on your naughty list.

Rated: PG
Release Date: December 4, 2015
Director: William Riead
Stars: Juliet Stevenson, Rutger Hauer, Max Von Sydow
Plot: During her life, Mother Teresa corresponded with many people through letters, this film looks at her work through those letters

Clint Says: See this movie in theaters if you can find it

Even though this film is slow, the story is so compelling and inspiring that it makes it a joy to watch. If you already know about the work that Mother Teresa did you will find this new angle of information on her life to be quite intriguing. If you are not familiar with the things she accomplished in her lifetime you will be astounded.

While I wouldn't take younger children to see this movie, simply because they will get bored, I would encourage anyone with children from age 10 on up to take them to see this film. It is a wonderful catalyst to talk with them about selfless giving, equality and struggle.

Juliette Stevenson's portrayal of Mother Teresa is spectacular. She shows us the strength, compassion, humility and courage that embodied the life of one of this world's greatest servants.

I don't know if this film will catch the eye of The Academy, but it is worthy of many awards this year.